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Showing posts from September, 2024
On a bus travelling through Lviv's old town.
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Nastia on the left wants to be a lawyer, and her friend a dentist. They were selling Ukrainian emblems on the market square in Lviv.
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Kneel in Lviv for those who gave the greatest sacrifice for Ukraine.😪
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I'm staying just opposite Potocki Palace in Lviv. Superb location.
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My mum's death told me to bury the hate, resentment and pride. Because once someone dies, they're gone forever. And guilt and regret will torment you until your own death.
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Fuck linkedin. Fuck jobs. Fuck careers. Fuck humanity. Fuck all you boring zombies.
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Kraków, Wrocław and even Lublin have been ruined by hordes of horrible, loud, drunk brits taking advantage of its cheap beer and strip tease women. You can hear them singing everywhere. The scourge of a world of cheap flights and app-enabled interconnectedness. The old atmosphere has gone. They have become giant whorehouse theme parks and sold their soul to the devil. but sell those tickets to auschwitz anyway. Make more money from this conveyor belt of sick overtourism.
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I'm heading back east soon. To Kraków and Lwów. To where I belong. I despise this island of hatred and division. This sick and failing experiment in "multiculturalism". It's an awful place of blood and stabbings. And lack of living space. And neighbours you never speak to.
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I have to leave this home with a beautiful garden. But with people here who hate me. I have to leave this prison. This place of sadness and no joy. I wish I could just disappear into the void. Or jump off a ferry at night into the north sea. To be never seen again. Crying as I see the ferry lit up with lights get smaller and smaller in the distance. Or finally climb Orla Perć but not make it to the end.
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My mum's death was bad enough. But when I heard that my uncle Raymond was in a care home with dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease, that struck me deeply. Uncle Raymond, who I always remember as that youthful and cheerful uncle. Friendlier than my own father. Death is upon us. Gently holding us in its fingers. Leading us away.
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My heart will have to continue pumping my blood for over 21 years just to match the age when my mum died of a sudden and massive heart attack. I feel my mortality more than ever. Death is much closer than I thought. And I have type 2 diabetes, which my mum was free of. Don't those with the "sugar disease" live on average ten years less?
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I have to leave something behind. Before I follow my mum into the void.
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It's time to embrace existentialism. To follow one's true desires no matter how much they hate you. Even your own father, brothers, sisters, wife and daughter. The only one that loved you was your mum. But even that relationship was flawed. But now she's gone. Died of a massive heart attack that also broke your heart. It's time to leave this place full of scorn, hate and derision. To meet new people who will be kind to you. Who don't know your dark, bitter and sad past.
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