I've always despised the tribal aspect of humanity

I've always despised the tribal aspect of humanity. 

Its competitiveness. Always striving to be better. Be the winner. Defeat others. An endless battle. Eternal conflict. Endless pain.

Every 4 years humanity comes together to worship the body and pain in The Olympics. Brute force triumphs over gentleness. Competition between nations. To be the strongest, fastest and most accurate.

In my mid teens I did watch Wimbledon and The Olympics and dreamed of being the next sensation. But it was just a dream. A delusion. A naive period in one's youth.

I would practice running by myself around the racetrack at Blandford Camp. Time myself with a stopwatch. Borrowed a book from the camp library on running and athletics. But I had no mentor. No coach. No guiding hand from above. Once I tried playing tennis with my younger brother. But he kept knocking the ball over the fence. I gave up.

I come from England, but I've always hated football. Hated being forced to play it at school. Outside in the cold and the rain. Along with rugby.

We had a strict PE teacher once at Risedale School in Catterick. Before one rugby match he said that if anybody had forgotten their towel they could just 'drip dry’ after showers.

In Poland I was always embarrassed when people asked me who was my favourite club. Who did I support? And I never had an answer. What kind of 'Anglik’ was I to them? Coming from the home of football.

No, I was never a typical Englishman. My dad never took me to a single match in my life when I was a boy. We never entered a roaring stadium. We never lived in a big English city.

I've always despised how the heroes and richest people in this world are athletes, visible everywhere on billboards and TV.

Is this what life is all about?

It's not for me. I walked away from it, long ago.